Post by Telemachus on Mar 19, 2004 1:20:32 GMT -5
Thank you, those of you who responded to my last post, I appreciate it.
Well. Bumpy road with the girlfriend who I will call "Casey". She broke things off and then when I came down to see her just to exchange things and say goodbye, I stayed for a few hours and we talked and it was good. She didn't get back together with me, but she wants to put the whole thing in Limbo.
I have been in a relationship before where I was a convenience and I don't want that again, but at the same time she intially had some legitimate concerns and I don't want to push a decision, either.
The toughest thing for me is that she takes no responsibility for anything. In fact, it would be impossible to tell her (and I have caught harsh words for even implying) that she does this since she either seems to think that she does no wrong or she just refuses to look at it. But when everything is always blamed on me from small arguments to decisions that went awry to bad directions and on and on, that gets old.
I openly take responsibility for things, saying things like, "For my part, I'm sorry I asked that question, I didn't realize it would upset you."
And that's all there is. She may grudgingly accept, but she'd never say, "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have gotten mad so quickly". It doesn't happen.
I was starting to believe it was all me until it happened enough times in enough situations that I could see it wasn't. And one of the things she abhors, which is when I am quick to anger, she tends to do herself as well. So I don't know what to do.
She is away for a few weeks visiting her mother and I guess we both have some time to think about the whole thing. I don't know, myself. I mean, I really don't know. I know I love her. I also know that's not always enough.
I'm tired, I think I'll get some sleep. I like this forum, nice people here, I stumbled onto it by accident. Thanks for listening to me babble on, any comments are welcome. Doesn't have to be advice, though that's cool too if you want. Just wondering what people's thoughts are.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Well. Bumpy road with the girlfriend who I will call "Casey". She broke things off and then when I came down to see her just to exchange things and say goodbye, I stayed for a few hours and we talked and it was good. She didn't get back together with me, but she wants to put the whole thing in Limbo.
I have been in a relationship before where I was a convenience and I don't want that again, but at the same time she intially had some legitimate concerns and I don't want to push a decision, either.
The toughest thing for me is that she takes no responsibility for anything. In fact, it would be impossible to tell her (and I have caught harsh words for even implying) that she does this since she either seems to think that she does no wrong or she just refuses to look at it. But when everything is always blamed on me from small arguments to decisions that went awry to bad directions and on and on, that gets old.
I openly take responsibility for things, saying things like, "For my part, I'm sorry I asked that question, I didn't realize it would upset you."
And that's all there is. She may grudgingly accept, but she'd never say, "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have gotten mad so quickly". It doesn't happen.
I was starting to believe it was all me until it happened enough times in enough situations that I could see it wasn't. And one of the things she abhors, which is when I am quick to anger, she tends to do herself as well. So I don't know what to do.
She is away for a few weeks visiting her mother and I guess we both have some time to think about the whole thing. I don't know, myself. I mean, I really don't know. I know I love her. I also know that's not always enough.
I'm tired, I think I'll get some sleep. I like this forum, nice people here, I stumbled onto it by accident. Thanks for listening to me babble on, any comments are welcome. Doesn't have to be advice, though that's cool too if you want. Just wondering what people's thoughts are.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.