Talkies

[Cat]

D: You’re the girl I will always miss.
C: Me?

C: Who that, Delle?
D: Don’t know.

C: Have you found the one?
D: I thought I did but nooooooo!

D: Morning people appreciates good bread.
C: More than any time of the day.

C: You know I’m scared of sharp objects, knives, ice picks, razors…<br>D: My intellect…<br>C: Your sharp wit…<br>
C: Where is THE 1?
D: THE 1 got lost.
C: We got reverted back in the counter-clockwise scheme.

C: Teá Leoni isn’t in Bad Boys 2 right?
D: No.
C: It’s Teá Pusit.

D: I’m willing to be dark if I can be good at swimming.
C: I can teach you breast stroke.

C: IT looked like a sea snake.
D: a small one.
C: a giant sea snake, a sea serpent.

C: That was Summer of ’69. That was probably the best summer?
D: Why?
C: Because…<br>D: How would you know, were you there? Oh, yeah, you were 3.
C: 2.
D: What did I say? I said 2.
C: 3.
D: 2.
C: 3.
D: 2.
C: 3.
D: 2.
C: 3.
D: 2.
C: 3.
D: Can you be a little mature?

C: a doxon is yappy and territorial.
D: just like me…<br>(C continued talking about the dog)
D: I noticed you didn’t say anything, I was waiting for you say “D, you’re not like that” and you didn’t
C: You’re not territorial.
D: What do you mean, I’m yappy?
C: You’re not yappy. If you’re a dog you’d be…<br>D: a bitch, because a female dog is a bitch.
C: If you were a dog, you’d be a poodle.
D: I’m not that kikay.

C: Ayoko nang mag-isa, tayo na sa Mariposa.
D: I thought tayo na sa Antipolo.

C: It’s a tough life, what do you do? Boil over it?
D: Slash your wrists.

D: How many years have we been working together?
C: 8.
D: and you still have to ask who I am when I call you on the phone
C: that was a long time ago, I haven’t done that in a long time.
D: That’s because I say, this is Delle.
C: and I’ll say Delle who? Delle of RX?
D: How many Delle do you know?
C: 1. You.

C: For depressives like me…<br>D: I lay claim to depressives, I’m clinically depressive.
C: I’m clinically manic.
D: We go together, u and I…<br>C: Like a horse and carriage

D: Come, give me a hug, you sexy little thug
C: later…<br>
C: From now on, we’ll call you Incompetentia.
D: If that sticks, I’m going to kill you.
C: Will you choke the chicken?
D: I’ll choke the chicken.
C: Will you spank the monkey?
D: I’ll spank that monkey.
C: Will you hide the salami?
D: I’ll slice that salami.

D: (people with syphilis) you can still kiss…<br>C: You can?
D: Yeah, I think you can.
C: Oh, I guess it depends where you kiss.

C: No exchanging of droplets until after the second date.
D: or marriage, for some.

D: exhibitionists like you want people to see them.
C: excuse me, not exhibitionists, nature-worshippers.

D: You didn’t even notice my new hairdo…<br>C: I did, it’s just that it looks more or less the same.
(you can guess what happened next)

C: It’s black, it’s so black…said Chico on his honeymoon.
D: Yuck!!! That’s so gross, unless it’s an interracial marriage.

D: Shut up, boy.
C: Make me.
D: I’m gonna do that later.
C: Stuff my mouth with something.
D: Yuck!

D: Chico, it’s time to do our laundry, we’re going to wash our dirty linens in public.
C: Hand me your undies and I’ll wash it for you.
D: Stay away from my undies.

D: Final throes make me think of other stuffs.
C: Unthink it.
D: I can’t help it, I’m a lonely woman.

C: Our gen RX question is do you owe someone money?
D: Do I owe you money? Is this your way of reminding me?
C: No. I owe you 50 pesos.
D: Why?
C: Remember when we added what you owe me and what I owe you, it turned out that I owe 45 pesos.
D: If we were married…<br>C: we don’t have to do this.
D: You may be thinking is she proposing to me? I could see you inching away.
C: You know my answer, I’m not ready…<br>
D: Oh, Chico.
C: Oh, Delamar.
D: Oh, Honey.
C: Oh, Suckle.
D: I’m not responsible for biological responses.

C: I like thin noodles.
D: I like fat noodles.
C: I bet.

D: I don’t like sloppy kisses, it’s yucky.
C: Sometimes.

D: I can’t eat anything with hair. Oh, that depends.
C: depends on the color?

D: Incompetent…<br>C: Bitch…<br>

[Cat]

C: I don’t know who the anti-Christ is.
D: Look in the mirror.

D: The cause is the cure, where did I get that?
C: from personal experience?
D: Ok, that officially marks the end of our friendship.

C: …Games big boys play.
D: I like those games.

D: Your mind is somewhere else.
C: What?

D: Maybe there is no THE ONE.
C: Maybe there is THE TWO, THE THREE or THE GROUP.

D: Why are you being difficult?
C: Because I feel like it.

D: You’re an ageist…like the band…that was corny.
C: that’s a new low.

C: Like me, I have issues.
D: I know about your issues, they’re boring.
C: What, and your issues are not?
D: I’m sorry I’m mean to you today.
C: Ok, let’s talk about your issues.
D: No, let my issues stay…<br>C: Where?
D: I was about to say in the closet.

D: I think I’m sweating.
C: Where?

C: She (Jean Grey) didn’t die, she became Phoenix, you could see the shape of the bird in the water.
D: Oooh.

(hot 10 ways to lose a guy in 10 days) D: From ____, tell him “you aren’t big enough”.
C: Of course, you can’t go into marriage thinking you can’t fill the gap in her life.
D: Is that what they call it now? The gap in her life?

D: Can’t you use your fingers? Said Delamar on her honeymoon…<br>C: Yuck!!!
D: I was just joking!

C: Your insides are slippery.
D: Yes, they are.

C: …Like dogs, they pee on their territory.
D: Do you feel like I’m your territory?
C: Before we go somewhere, I’d say “oh, Delle, I forgot to pee on you”.
D: ooohhh…


C: You’re still on C & D, no, you’re still on the Morning Rush with C & D.
D: You can’t be on us unless we chose to.
C: unless you’re one of the privileged few.

C: I’m a sexy little thug.
D: Come on give me a hug.

D: You always call me that.
C: Sexy?
D: No, he doesn’t call me that, he calls me wench.
C: I call you bushy.

C: Why heat stroke?
D: Because it’s hot.
C: Is it stroking you?

D: What fantasies are you into?
C: Volcanoes and day old chips.

C: Someone will have her cellphone shove where the sun doesn’t shine.
D: That’s a promise? You’re not just teasing me?
C; and it’ll be a 7650…<br>D: that’s ok.

[Cat]

D: I don’t believe in love anymore…you realize you’re not Cinderella.
C: You’re not Cinderella anymore, you’re Cinderellamar.

C: You can show me the tip.
D: Right now?
C: No, when you’re breastfeeding.
D: I know we’re friends but there are limits.

C: Sometimes when it really gets long…<br>D: What happens when it really gets long?

D: You could be texting at the intersection of Ortigas and…<br>C: Quezon Ave.
D: Usually, when you say intersection, there should be a meeting point.
C: no, not Quezon Ave., Makati Ave.

C: For a blasé girl, you’re pretty frisky.
D: I’m not, I’m frisky two hours ago.

C; I’m gonna stuff your mouth with boxer shorts.
D: Go ahead.

D: It’s gonna be your birthday in 14 days.
C: Another step towards oblivion.

C: I do Gollum very well.
D: you sort of look…<br>
D: I don’t see the point of anything, I’m so blasé.<br>C: DM, that’s all I’m going to say.
D: What’s DM?
C: Defense Mechanism. You’re making yourself feel numb.
D: I’m not.
C: You are, unconsciously.

D: I’m easily excited.
C: You perky little ion you.

C: I feel like a flower that had 300 bees sucking on my nectar. I feel
drained and no nectar to give…<br>D: I, on the other hand…<br>
D: I’m not feeling wild today.
C: You’re feeling prudish.
D: I didn’t say that.

D: You know what a friend and I were talking about yesterday?
C: Sex?

D: He’s this close to hitting me…<br>C: Not hit you, throw something at you, throw Brian at you, he’s gonna squish
you like you’ve never been squished before.
D: you don’t know how I’ve been squished before.
C: Ewwww…<br>
D: …we don’t even have alcohol in our blood.
C: and we had some sleep…<br>D: not together though, separately, in our own house.

C: I’m chaste.
D: Celibate is more like it.

(hot 10: signs that someone’s a non-virgin) C: if she keeps adjusting her mic
because it’s too low.
D: It’s too low for comfort.
C: So you want it higher?
D: why not?

(hot 10: signs that someone’s a non-virgin) C: and the number one sign that
someone’s a non-virgin: pag nawala na ang kiliti niya… I agree with this, I
used to be very ticklish, but since I started having… massages
D: Massages, so that’s what they call it now.

D: Pythons are cold-blooded like my co-anchor.
C: I’m not cold-blooded, I’m warm-blooded, I can prove it.
D: How?
C: When I’m in the shower, there’s steam rising.
D: That’s not steam.

D: growing up, I never imagined I’d work with a geek.
C: you work with a geek, deal with it!

C: chew your food!
D: what do you think I do/
C: you swallow
D: well…<br>
D: You always twist my words to make them seem insignificant.
C: I don’t twist your words, I tweak your words.

C: you know how it is with food and sex…<br>D; No, I don’t. What?
C: I don’t think you can make love if you’re hungry.
D: Sometimes, you can make love and eat at the same time.

D: You know what I want, right here, right now?
C: Is it airable?
D: Tapioca necklace.

D: Time is 7;48, did you know that?
C: I got a clock too, you know.

C: Let’s move on.
D: I don’t want to move on.
C: That’s your problem; you don’t want to move on.

D: You know what you are?
C: A hunk?
D: No. You’re unfair, unlovable, un-ilateral
C: I’m understanding and you’re untot.

(hot 10 answers to the question “am I bitchy?”)
D: am I bitchy?
C: it’s endearing…<br>D: it’s me who’s asking the question, am I bitchy?
C: will we still be friends?
D: Of course! so am I bitchy?
C: it’s endearing…<br>D: are you saying I am?
C: no, but you’re getting there.
D: I’m one step away from being bitchy?
C: two steps.

D: I hate that word, groin, it’s so dirty.
C: whose?

D: Can you spell projection?
C: P-R-O-G-G…<br>
D: spell bitchy?
C: D-E-L-A-M-A-R

[Cat]

C: I can’t wear wet socks. I can wear a wet T-shirt, wet pants, wet underwear…<br>D: what about wet panties?
C: Yeah.
D: You’re going to wear one?
C: If you forced me.

C: How’s your ignition?
D: My ignition’s kinda rusty…my car’s been everywhere.

D: I’m good.
C: Good where?

D: I’m giddy when I drank coffee or 2 glasses of wine.
C: and…<br>D: not that you would know…<br>
D: was that a joke? Did I miss the punchline?
C: by a mile

C: Who’s the loneliest person you know?
D: You.
C: not for long.
D: Maybe Saturday night, you won’t be.
C: You don’t know how right you could be.

C: I saw a billboard where it says GMA cares, that’s her new slogan and I was thinking that if the World Health Organization adopts it, it would be WHO cares.
D: I thought you were going to say what if you out s before cares, it would be GMA scares…but that’s witty, I hate it when you’re witty, people would say Chico’s so witty and Delle’s Delle.

C: that was saving Forever For You by Shanice.
D; I don’t believe in that anymore.
C: Forever’s running out, you’re saving something that’s running out for someone.
D: Let’s taste each other. Bitter. Definitely bitter.

C: 64 K.
D: I don’t know what that means.
C: it means it’s big.
D: so pay attention if a man comes up to you and says “miss, I’ve got a 64 K”

C: Eric Banana
D: Yessss!

C: I’m going to kill you slowly with a rusty spoon.
D; How?
C: I’ll carve you up.
D: How?
C: You’ll see later.

D: You know what you are?
C: What?
D: A dork.

C: I don’t wanna be gummed to death.
D: Maybe it’s great to be gummed to death.

D: If I kill you it’s okay.
C: Not if I kill you first. Tsuk!

C: I just realized that I walked all morning with my zipper open.
D: That’s the sign of the times, you’re getting senile.
C: No, it’s not that I forgot, it’s just that the zipper wasn’t strong enough to hold back the monster.

C: I need some perking up.
D: In what way?

C: Suddenly I’m not the hunkiest guy in the booth.
D: you thought you were?
C: There’s just the two of us, if it wasn’t me….

C: I’m a great master.
D: Yes, master.

C: I think I’ll be a good dad but I’m not so sure I could be.
D: Yes, you can, not that I’m offering…<br>
D: I can’t breathe.
C: Squeeze your…<br>D: I won’t squeeze anything for you, you squeeze yours and I’ll squeeze mine.
C: Fine.

C: Are you saying you want an 18 year old guy?
D: Yes.

D: I like the primal stuff.
C: It stimulates the animal in you.

D: That’s usual when a woman is deprived of sleep
C; and…<br>D: just sleep.

C: I’m a floozer, a floozy loser.
D: I’m flooziest.

C: You need a bitch to calm the inner bitch.
D: I think I need a man.

D: Get a hold of yourself.
C: Later.

D: One day, wear briefs and panty liners.
C; Sure, sounds exciting.

D: What happens when it’s cold?
C: It’s not as impressive as it is when it’s warm and toasty.

C: I need someone to touch me.
D: Maybe you can touch me and I can touch you.

C: …it’s wet noodle, it’s no use
D; I now have a new name for you in my phonebook. Wet noodle.
C: I’m not a wet noodle, I’ve been known in some circles as flagpole.
D: Whatever you say, wet noodle.

C: I’m going to slap you around with my wet noodle.
D: Stop it. Don’t say that, that’s way too sexy. You can’t blame me for my actions, I’ve been seduced.

[Cat]

D: I’m Chico.
C: and I’m Delamar.

D: that was Duncan Sheik and he’s coming over, he’ll be in the booth.
C: He’s bringing his brother along, Tumal, Tumal Sheik.

D: We’re here for you everyday, except Sunday.
C: and maybe Doomsday, we won’t be here.
D: We would be busy running for our lives.

D: Back to the 80’s is hosted by a strange guy who we didn’t want to hire back.
C: We? What do you mean we? Somebody was hired back with him.

C: Who’s the balding reincarnation of Buddha?
D: I don’t know.
C: Oh, Steven Seagal.

C: You could name your fish Nemo.
D: or Flounder
C: or Dick…Moby Dick

C: (to the caller) You’re not exactly Ms. Overage.
D: Why are you looking at me like that when you say that?
C: I’m not!

C: Don’t get an old maid.
D: Why do you look at me like that when you say that?

D: Me, Chinggay and Yvette would be at the Libresse Fair and we’d be tied to each other.
C; and they’ll be doing stuff…<br>D: nothing sleazy…<br>C: they’d be tied to each other wearing only…<br>D: a bikini
C: a bikini top

D: this one’s going to be big?
C: which one?
D: this one.
C: that one.

C: I know the first person I’ll eat.
D: Me too.

C: I wasn’t internet.
D: You weren’t internet?
C: I wasn’t interneting.

D: You have to tune in tonight.
C: You have to listen tonight.
D: That’s what I just said, to tune in is to listen.
C: You can tune in without listening.
D: Ok, I’m tuning out.

C: My key needs an ignition.
D: One word, pervert!

C: Why would you fall in love with a metal thing?
D: Some lonely women do.

D: Why are you being bitchy?
C: and what were you?
D: I was being honest.
C: so you were honest and I’m bitchy?
D: I’m hurt.
C: She calls me a bitch and she’s hurt.
D: This relationship is lopsided.

D: You can’t be faithful.
C: I can. I just haven’t met the right person.
D: How many soulmates do you see when you go to Megamall? 4?
C: 3.
D: Enough said.

C: I’ll tell you in an hour from now.
D: Is it in an hour from now or an hour from now?
C: an hour from now, I’ll tell you an hour from now. Betch!
D: Yes, that’s me!

D: This is already an LQ.
C: Just Q, L is lovers…We’re not lovers.
D: We’re not.
C: We never had an intimate relationship.

D: (ways to cure insomnia) daydream about someone you like.
C: that would keep me up, very, very up.
D: What do you mean, up?

D: Do you need hot tea? I can give you hot tea.
C: I need hot tea…<br>D: What else do you need? Cookie? Me?
C: I need you to rub my chest…and inner thighs.
D: your inner thighs? You can reach it.
C: no, I can’t.
D: yes, you can. You have long arms.
C: yeah, I have long arms, like I have…<br>
D: Something’s wrong with you…<br>C: My pipes are clogged.
D: I can’t do anything about that.

D: Something’s wrong with you, I’m going to get to the bottom of this.
C: What’s wrong with me?
D: Like you’re not happy working with me anymore.
C: Where did this come from? I think the issue’s with you, not with me, I just need some. Some sleep, I just need some sleep.

D: You’ve lost that loving feeling.
C: Why?
D: You’re not excited to work with me anymore.
C: Because?
D: You sound so sad.
C: I don’t know how to deal with this.
D: You mean you don’t wanna deal with this.

D: I’m the biggest fan of your life.
C: You want my autograph? On your undies?

C: Can’t Lose You
D: I know.

(talking about Ben and Jen)
C: their wedding is in September and their movie is a big flop, it’s like “will you still love me if the money is gone?”<br>D: I don’t think it’s that easy to lose….is that a question you’re asking me?

D: In 2 months, I’ll be 30, I’m a spinster officially.
C: You’re like Carrie of Sex and The City.
D: She’s getting some action…<br>C: Right, you just have to find your Mr. Big.
D: I found my Mr. Big.
C: Don’t be too sure.

(hot 10 things when someone tells you nagbago ka na)
C: sige, name them! Now!
D: sir, yes, sir.
C: private, drop your drawers.

C: the luggage you lug…you lug the luggage…<br>D: that’s why it’s luggage…<br>C: why, do you bag your baggage?
D: yes.
C: do you cab your cabbage?
D: yes.

C: do you consider your armpit fleshy or skinny?
D: skinny. Why am I answering?

(D doing the traffic report)
C: what about Nagtahan Bridge?
D: I grew up there, I spent 14 years of my life there…<br>C: on the bridge?

D: why are you looking at me like that? Like you want to say something…<br>C: I was just looking at your bangs…<br>
D: What if I hit you with something?
C: where?
D: there.

C: We have He Says, She Says
D: Says who?
C: We says…I Says…<br>
C: I’m having temporary madness.
D: It’s more permanent than you think.

C: when I was young, I would sit by the pool waiting for an apparition.
D: like Judiel?
C: No, not like Judiel, like Bernadette… I waited and there’s nothing so I know I’m not a visionary and then I suddenly thought what if I am the Anti-Christ and later, I realized that no, I’m not the Anti-Christ, I’m not special, I’m just an ordinary guy.
D: you’re special.
C: I am to some people but not to…<br>
D: My latest crush is 21 years old.
C: if you have a 21 year old, I have someone my age.
D: how do you know?

D: I’ve gone through the buffet.
C: I haven’t.
D: it’s not as wonderful as you think it is.
C: I’ll take your word for it.

C: is the well dry?
D; very dry.
C: you need it wet.
D: yeah…<br>
C: what?!
D: you’re freaky…and creepy.

C: I wanna have some fun.
D: Me, too. It’s about time.

D: You’ve been mean to me for the past 9 years.
C: and you’ve been Ms. Nice?

(talking about black butterflies as premonition of death)
D: look! There’s one behind you.
C: does it look like the one on top of your head?
D: at least we die together…<br>
C: put your money where your mouth is.
D: why?

(talking about having your period during your honeymoon)
D: who says it has to get in the way?
C: ewwww!!!!

[Cat]

D: that was Simple Plan, with the best album title of the year, “No pads, no helmets, just balls”, it so appeals to me…<br>C: I wonder why…<br>
D: This one’s going to be a hit, I can feel it in my bones.
C: Are you sure it’s not just osteoporosis?

(talking about honeymoons)
D: It’s going to be a sex fest.
C: I would be so excited.
D: You have been so deprived.
C: I would probably have a short fuse.

C: or the Abu Sayyaf taking you from a resort.
D: you would be taken and bound…<br>C: and?
D: There is no and…<br>C: I thought you had story there.
D: Pervert.

C: You’re still on the Morning Rush with Chico and Garcia.
D: Yes, you can call me Garcia, I can see that you want to have the show all to yourself.

(caller: I don’t have a car, can I still go to the Stick-On?)
C: Sure, we can stick it on your forehead.
D: You just have to go vroom, vroom…that was corny.

D: we’re normal, we’re like the benchmark for normal.
C: Heaven help us all then.

C: I’m having problems with my buns; the right one is asleep. I need someone to punch it.
D: I can punch it for you.

C: It’s my tip, I’ll take care of my tip and you take care of your tips.
D: I’m taking care of it.

D: Whenever I hear that, I feel like dancing.
C: let loose. Say, “feet, keep on moving and dancing”.
D: feet, keep on moving and dancing.
C: hands…<br>D: hands…<br>C: shake in the air…<br>D: shake in the air…<br>C: heart…<br>D heart…<br>C: love again…<br>D: no way!!!

(news item about a nude hiker in England)
D: don’t tell me you’re taking a vacation in England.
C: you can come with me, you can walk beside me and hold my…<br>D: hand!
C: yes, hand, or you can walk in front of me and pull me by the…<br>D: hand!

C: please do your job, woman!
D: say please.
C: I did, please do your job, woman!
D: say it like you mean it.
C: please do your job, lazy buns.

D: Are you finished yet?
C: haaayyy! Yes, we’re done, we’re so done.
D: You know what would be the ultimate vengeance for you? If in the next lifetime, if there is one, I ended up as your daughter.
C: Oh yes.
D: You can punish me without me doing anything.
C: I won’t change your diaper for 10 days, I will let you rot in your…<br>D: You really love me, dad
C: Yes, I do and I will give you a mop haircut.

C: I would like to be a dog psychiatrist. I would like to analyze why she is neurotic and then I’ll…<br>D: why is it that in your world, the neurotic is a she?
C: don’t be so neurotic…paranoid.

(signs that it’s over)
D: if he’s gonna look for a new partner.
C: if she says you don’t fight with me anymore.
D: this relationship is based on hate, if we lose that, we don’t have a relationship.
C: this is so living room to hot, living room to cold.
D: why are you talking like that?
C: sala sa init, sala sa lamig
D: that is so corny.

C: check out Back to the 80’s…<br>D: with that dork… Aren’t you going to fight back? you nerd! yucky poo!
C: ok…<br>D: you make me seem like the evil one.

(signs that you’re on an honeymoon from hell)
D: if you find out that you’re not sexually compatible… He’s going north and you’re going south…wait a minute…<br>C: that’s okay, for some, that’s okay.

[Cat]

C: You know what?
D: why do you start your sentences with you know what, you know I don’t know.
C: You know what?
D: It’s like you didn’t hear me.
C: I think there’s a marked increase in my sex appeal.

D: I feel like a bag lady today.
C: because?
D: I feel crummy.
C: you don’t feel pretty?
D: no but I feel witty…<br>C: and…<br>D: gay. I just didn’t come out, okay?

D: That was Numb by Lickic’<br>C: I know what you are thinking Lickin’ Park, Numb Numb Numb (nam nam nam)

D: you know what I have this breakfast?
C: rectal itch?

C: I have issues.
D: I know.

D: What are you trying to say?
C: I forgot.
D: good, Dory.

D: Now, I can read you like a book.
C: like a wide open book?
D: like a widespread book.
C: spreadeagle.

C: they’re pangitains.
D: who’s pangit? Are you nagpaparinig?

D: that was Jodie Brooke Wilson with Temporary Madness, give me some of that.
C: Jodie?
D: Temporary Madness, goodness!

C: we’re so like
(together) C: saya
D: sarap

D: aren’t we all looking for something real?
C: that’s what you say.

D: all the songs you play make me sad.
C: we’ll play happy songs.
D: no, it’s okay. I like being sad.

D: you don’t know how lonely a 29 year old woman can get.
C: I have an idea.

D: are you being incompetent again?
C: yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever!

D: what are you saying again?
C: you’re being incompetent.

C: she’s (Monica Gellar) too pushy
D: why are you looking at me when you say that?

C: what’s Neo’s last name?
D: what?
C: Print. Neo Print.

C: If you were a California maki…<br>D: if you were a California maki…<br>C: if I were, I would want to be eaten.

C: you can’t look for the right kind of love in the wrong places.
D: are you preaching to yourself?
C: yes.
D: have you learned your lesson?
C: no way!

D: we should give you a nickname, it’s like your tongue always trips.
C: Tongue tripper.

C: I want something real.
D: is the show called Personal Ads? last time I checked it was the Morning Rush.
C: biatch….

D: your thingy’s warm.
C: how do you know?

D: do you think you’re funny?
C: no, I know I’m funny.

D: are you a premy?
C: no, maybe when I was younger.

D: is it all about the money?
C: yes, but sometimes it’s about the sex too.

C: Catch Back to the 80’s tonight at 6.
D: why?
C: because it’s a good show.
D: that’s not what I heard, I heard that the host is bratty and throws diva tantrums.
C; I thought I hosted the show.
D: exactly.
C: ‘coz that exactly fits the description of someone I know.

C: What is that sweet, sweet barbecue smell?
D: could be your underwear.
C: Why? Because someone who munched on barbecue munched on it?

D: you put me in a bad mood.
C: that’s no. 5 (top 10 signs that you are about to be dumped)
D: you’re forgetting something, we’re not together.
C: you can be dumped by a non-romantic partner.
D: so, what are you saying? You are dumping me?

D: are you designed for love?
C: I’m designed for a long-term relationship.
D: I don’t think so.

C: I wanna see one (alien)
D: look in the mirror.
C: not that kind of alien.

C: All I got is the personality and even that is arguable.
D: Matalino ka naman e.

(hot 10 sleazy movie titles for legit movies)
C: I know who you did last summer.
D: who?
C: last summer? No one.

C: Have you ever been strangled with a mic?
D: yes.

[Cat]

D: would you still like to wake up alone tomorrow?
C: I don’t know. I’m not sure.
D: You’re not sure you want to or you’re not sure you wouldn’t want to.
C: I’m not sure of anything anymore.
D: Okay. That was deep.

D: Don’t you feel the need to spawn?
C: Yes, everyday!

D: Can I call you my newsie?
C: You can call me anything you want. I can be whoever you want me to be.
D: Who do you want me to be? No, don’t answer that.

C: I was always old way before my time. I am the youngest but I felt the oldest.
D: I’d leave you in that thought. I’d let you get lost in your thought. Get Lost!
C: in them, you forgot in them, get lost in them.

C: The video of Are You Happy Now was so good.
D: So, we should care about the video because you liked it?
C: biatch.
D: I don’t know what to do, if I don’t talk, people would think that I’m really angry, this is how I socialize.
C: Wow! That accounts for your popular childhood.
D: I’m not hurt. I don’t have feelings…I’m crying! I don’t like being a softie.

C: I will go down with this ship.
D; So, there will be no white flag? That’s what the song says, there will be no surrender.
C: No, the white flag was up.
D; The song says there will be no white flag above my head, I’m in love, I always will be. So is this your song?
C: Yes.
D: Are you sure?
C: Yes?
D: Are you lying?
C: For now.

D: Falling in love, I don’t trust that.
C: Me, too.
D: It’s like having the rug pulled under your feet.
C: Sometimes, there’s not even a rug, sometimes, the floor is bare.

D: I’m going to get down to the bottom of this, I’m not called Delle the Psy…<br>C:Psycho.
D: No.
C: Psychic.
D: No, your armchair psychologist.

D: I’ll hold your hand through this. We’ve been through a lot of things. We’ll survive this together. One of these days, we’ll laugh at this, at about how you thought you wouldn’t survive this.
C: I’ll survive this. I need more sports.

D: Liar, liar, pants on fire.
C: They’ve been on fire since…<br>D: I like your pants on fire. It makes an interesting show.

D: When it’s hard, breathe, when you’re nervous, breathe, when you’re in love, breathe.
C; I’m trying my best.
D: Aha! So you ARE in love.
C: No. NO.

C: Just assume this text line can perform.
D: Just like me.
C: Just like those robust males.

D: You are a very odd person.
C: Very odd and lovable if you give me a chance.

D: Sounds like somebody’s crazy in love and it’s not me.
C: Nope, not anymore. I get over people fast nowadays, not that I’m jaded and old.

D: He (Josh Hartnett) can protect me.
C: The top of your head would be at his belly button.
D: Well, well, well…a match made in heaven.

C: I’m daing inside.
D: Corny. Corny.

D: I wanna play a kinky game.
C: The most I can go is to tie you up in a chair and put paper clips all over you.
D: Where?
C: In your loose folds of flesh.
D: I don’t have loose folds of flesh.

(Hot 10)
D: we’re doing the third batch of 3
C: of 6.
D: 3 callers.
C: 3 callers in the third batch of 6.

D: I’m just a girl…<br>C: Are you sure?
D: Yeah. I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her. You’re not the boy, okay?
C: I know. Let’s just make it clear.
D: We’re just making it clear.
C: We’re both available.
D: I thought you’re out, out of order.
C: No, I’m okay now. I’m fine. I’m available.
D: That was quick.
C: I’m available for fun.

D: You’re sad.
C: I’m not sad. I’m deliriously happy.
D: You’re just in denial.
C: I am not.
D: Proving a point…<br>
C: Delle!
D: It’s weird when you say my name, you don’t call me Delle.
C: I call you Delle.
D: You call me hoy!

C: Whoosh whoosh in the bush.
D: Sounds like a date to me!

C: I’m happy.
D: You’re not.
C: I’m happy.
D: You’re not.
C: I’m happy.
D: You’re not.
C: Who are you tell me I’m not happy.
D: I’m with you most of the time.

D: we’ve got news about Britney and Madonna.
C: They’re moving in?

C: I’m sick and tired of being mushy all the time. Why can’t I be happy and be with someone and be delirious?
D: That’s so neurotic. It’s so Delamar.

C: a friend called it (badminton) the great equalizer.
D: wasn’t that me?
C: Oh, yeah. That was you.
D: So, I’m a friend?

D: Take that back!
C: Not this time. You’re not gonna twist my arm.
D: When did I ever twist your arm.
C: All the time.
D: That’s not true. I let you do what you want as long as…<br>C: It goes your way.
D: Yes.

D: I don’t like attention. I feel like I’m being barenaked with my feeling.
C: Bare, away, Ms. Drama Queen… you’re listening to the Morning Rush with Chico and Poor, poor Delamar.
D: You don’t empathize with me.
C: I do, I empathize with you.
D: You’re happy.
C: Talk about persecution complex.

D: (sigh)
C: Why are you sighing?
D: I’m sighing just to annoy you.
C: It’s working.
D: (sigh)
C: annoying!

D: Today’s a Friday, it happens…<br>C: Every week, it happens every week, it happens after a Thursday.

D: I believe in that, nothing is as it seems.
C: Yes, like the chicken crossing the road, to you, it may seem like a chicken crossing the road but…<br>D: That’s not really what I was thinking but yeah, so what else could it be besides the chicken crossing the road?
C: It could be going through a crisis.
D: With their brains? I don’t think they could go through a crisis

C: I pay.
D: For what?
C: For love.

C: I pay for everything.
D: When we’re together, we’re 50/50, what’s up with that?
C: You can’t give me what they give me.
D: All you have to do is ask, Chico.

C: Times are rough.
D: Really? It’s 8:30, that’s rough, no, that’s bitchy.

C: I would like to thank a special friend who made me feel good, Ben, who’s gay, no, wait, that didn’t sound so good.
D: No, it didn’t.

[Cat]

C: Something’s throbbing…<br>D: What is it?
C: my feet
D: Don’t scare me like that!

D: WILL SHE? Will she be loved?
C: WE’LL SEE.

D: I don’t know what gets in your mind, sometimes.
C: Don’t look there, it’s not a pretty sight.
D: It’s dirty.

C: I’m scared to experiment with these things (feelings)
D: I’m just scared, period.

D: Boys Don’t Cry, do you agree with that?
C: No way!

D: Sometimes, I don’t know why we’re DJs.
C: I know, destiny.

D: Just answer this question, what’s Neo’s last name. Print. Neo Print.
C: Zep. Neo Zep.

D: You like so many.
C: But they don’t want me.

D: (to a female caller) say hi to Chico, not a lot of women say hi to him.
C: Wow! Gee, thanks.

D: I’ve never been doted on
C: You’ve been a doter. (daughter)

D: I’m not sure I’m that sweet.
C: Well, yeah.
D: What do you mean, yeah? You’re supposed to say “no, you are sweet”.

D: I don’t get it, you’re never sweet.
C: never?

(if things don’t work out, try gay)
D: I promised when I’m 33.
C: Don’t say that…Fast forward to 3 years and …<br>D: No, no, I’m just kidding.

C: She’s an open vessel, she’s lamated and she needs to be filled.
D: I’m lamated and waiting to be filled.


D: I’m flustered because life is beautiful.
C: Really?
D: It’s my press release.

C: What are you looking for?
D: I’m looking for love and it’s not in the booth.

D: I was looking out the 17th floor of Strata 2000 Bldg…<br>C: Life is beautiful, Delle.
D: I’m not going to jump!

D: He’s not a DJ.
C: I may not be a DJ but I’m a personality.

D: I love the line, love can be so boring. Love being boring is what makes it great.
C: It being boring and still working…<br>D: But what do we know?
C: I never love long enough for it to be boring.
D: You never love, period.

C: A whammy kind of love.
D: What’s a whammy kind of love?
C; The one where you’ll feel like you’ve been like by a 16-wheeler truck.
D: Where will we find it?
C: How much will it cost me?

D; Let’s not beat around the bush.
C: Maybe you should.

D: You’re slippery.
C: I’m known for that.

(news about a country banning second hand underwear)
D: down with second hand underwear!
C: Ibagsak ang imperialistang second hand underwear!

C: What’s that? Girls don’t like boys, they like cars and money.
D: That’s true.

C: I wanna put a bone through my nose.
D: You’re not missing a letter, right?
C: Through my nose?
D: It’s been known to happen.

C: She likes fettuccini.
D: Well…<br>
C: My pain is the superstar in my life.
D: okay, Mr. Melodrama.

C: Here’s our news at 17, Chico is miserable.
D: Okay.
C: wow, that’s news!

D; Who are you officially missing?
C; No one. I’m missing no one. Good riddance if I must say so myself.
D: I don’t believe you.

D: When we went to Duty Free yesterday, you didn’t even told me that they’re selling a huge bag of Sugus. You just went ahead and bought one for yourself.
C: I didn’t know you like Sugus.
D: Now I have to do what you want or else you wouldn’t give me some. Where’s the friendship in that?
C: Welcome to my world, finding something delicious and you can’t have it.

D: We’re doing the hot 10 advices you could give Delle on her 30th birthday.
C: You could say me, the hot 10 advices you could give me, you are Delle.
D: But I am royalty. They refer to themselves as a 3rd person. That’s how royalty…does it or do it?
C: That’s how royalty do it.
D: Delle knows that, Delle just got confused.
C: Chico will hit you in the head if you don’t stop that.

D: I’m so reminded by you when I hear this song. (Insensitive)
C: Thanks.
D: I’m serious.
C: I think it would be better if you’re not serious. I’m the epitome of being sensitive.
D: no, you’re not. When I’m in pain and I tell you, you want to open the car and push me out.
C: It’s like yoga. I feel for your pain, there’s so much pain so if I pushed you out of the car, the pain would be transferred.
D: He loves me, folks, he really loves me.
C: Dearly and deeply.

C: at 6 PM, listen to Back to the 80’s.
D: Don’t, do something else, watch a movie, take care of the kids…<br>C: It’s a good show.
D: No, it’s not. It’s wonderfully written but the host is weird.
C: But getting cuter by the day.

(Dark Beat)
C: It does something to do me, Delle. I’m warning you.
D: I better get out of the room.

C: My heartbreak doesn’t come from outside, my heart produces it.
D: I’ve got 3 words for you, get a grip.
C: My heart produces heartbreak as a snake produces venom.
D: I’ve got 2 words for you, losing grip.
C: My heart needs to be streetsmart, it’s stupid and foolish.
D: I’ve got 3 words for you, get over it… I can’t take the drama. I can’t take it anymore.

C: The traffic situation in my heart is that my iorta is clogged.
D: It’s aorta.
C; yeah, aorta.
D: You said iorta.
C: Okay, I’m wrong. I’m always wrong.
D: Like your heart.

D: You won’t stop until you get what you want so God, give him what he wants as a favor to me.
C: Yes, please. I promise I won’t run away.

D: you’re gross.
C: I’m having a crisis.
D: You’re gross because you’re having a crisis? Other people talk about it in a normal way.
C: I’ve got 3 words for you, that is them, here’s another 3 words, this is me and here’s another one, so shut up.

D: I don’t understand this.
C: Open wider.
D: No way!
C: your mind!
D: Pervert.

D: I’m losing patience.
C: Who cares? Big deal!

D: we’re keeping it sane next hour.
C: Speak for yourself.

C: I’m in a mood…<br>D: I’ll hold your hand.

C: Point out my mistakes.
D: One, your hairstyle.
C: Kulang pa, it doesn’t hurt enough.

C: Am I being too dramatic?
D: Yes, I can’t take it anymore. Give me prozac, now.

D: Let’s say goodbye.
C: Let’s kick the bucket.
D: What, die together?
C: yeah.
D: We’re too young to die. There’s still a lot of love for you and me.
C; yeah, right. Tell it to the marines. What’s the number of the marines?
D: 1800…<br>C:1800-men-in-uniform
D: not that I would know.

D: Chico, can I call you Mama San?
C: Sure, Baby Doll.

[Cat]

C: Everything’s fine.
D: Are you sure, daddy?
C: Yes, come here…come to papa.
D: You’re creeping me out, let me just say that you’re my personal creep and you follow me around. You’re like a dark cloud hanging over my head, like an ax hanging over my head.
C: That can’t wait to chop it off.
D: He loves me still.

D: I was having a crisis the other day.
C: Yeah, me too.
D: It’s different. Yours a love crisis. I was thinking that I bore Chico because he’s not fighting with me as much as he used to.
C: I can step it up.
D: No, it’s okay.

C: The Godfather also known as Ninong Ko
D: That’s my creep! He’s back!
C: No, I’m still lonely.
D: What a downer. I thought you’re over it.

D: What do you have for me, creep?
C: I’m going to think of a name for you.

C: Now, I realized why the title is Time and Tide, it’s because they’re 2 things nobody can stop. Time will go on whether you like it or not and the tides will change and it’s like the love you feel for the person, you can’t stop it.
D: That is so romantic, I think I’m going to cry…<br>
D: if sodas can went fruit…<br>C: so can DJs.
D: I promise when I’m 33.

C: the only people who are awake at this hour are …<br>D: lonely DJs?

C: I saw limp…noodle
D: You see it everyday, right? In the shower?

D: I’m still finding my baby boy. I’ve been around the world and I still haven’t found him.
C: You can always make one.

D: Abominable, that’s my new nickname for you in my phonebook.
C: Revolting is my new nickname for you.

D: It’s been 8 fun years. I can’t imagine waking up without your abominable face.
C: and your revolting smell.

C: (to the tune of Me Against the Music) Hey, Dellie, you say you wanna lose control…<br>D: I do. I do. I do.

C: I’m officially missing dot dot dot
D: You say dot dot dot if you don’t want to mention their name. I love you dot dot dot.

C: UFO - Unidentified flirting old maid
D: that’s me!

D: He’s wondering why we’re so hyper…It’s because we haven’t had s….., we haven’t had s….
C: Siopao.

C: (no. 1 answer to the hot 10 ways to describe someone you really love) tall, dark and seven, like the dwarfs, they’re tall, dark and seven.
D: if they’re dwarfs, how can they be tall?
C: it could be inches, like seven inches… like a 7-inch ant
D: a 7-inch ant? I’m not even going to talk about this.
C: He’s a giANT.

D: I don’t like you today, you’re not a pushover.
C: I’m fighting back, I’ve got teeth. By the end of the show, you’ll have bitemarks all over you.
D: Ohhhh….

C: If you’re riding the MRT, you should say “I’m a sardine! I’m a sardine!”<br>D: what’s the point of all this?
C: if you’re riding the MRT, you should say “I’m a bitch! I’m a bitch!”<br>D: you called me a bitch…<br>C: I called you that before.

C: if I have kids…<br>D: say when
C: when I have kids

C: you must be happy.
D: yes, I am, very much.
C: because ignorance is bliss

D: You’re like a chicken.
C: Why?
D: because you’re dressed.
C: because I have eggs?

D: I was watching a movie and they said you never expect to fall in love, like appendicitis, not to say that we’re in love.
C: I am.
D; Yes, you are.
C: misguided but in love.

C: that’s savvy
D: savvy nila

D: There’s something wrong with you, you need attention
C: I need attention from someone.

D: that was Numb.
C: I feel so dumb.
D: what’s the point of that?
C: it rhymed
D: that’s it? It sounds so off tangent
C: so now you’re belittling me on the air
D: I’m not belittling you, I‘m just asking you a question, friends ask each other questions
C: why?


C: my heart wants to sing but nobody wants to listen.
D: I’ll listen.
C: Against your will
D: it’s one of the things friends do.

C: I’m not perfect, I may look the part but I’m not.
D: I’m ignoring you, big time.
C: I’m not perfect, contrary to my looks, I’m flawed.

C: Bullies had me for breakfast and lunch.
D: We’re bully magnets.

C: I wish somebody would promise that I would be loved; I mean love as in not clean love.
D: dirty love?

D: they used buckets
C: Baket?

D; I think I’m launching into my own drama.
C; Don’t steal my thunder.
D: you’ve had yours for 3 weeks, It’s my turn…we need to rate.
C: we’ll have a drama fest, we’ll outdrama each other.
D: after all, we need to rate

(craziest thing you’ve done to an enemy: forward all his incoming calls to a mental hospital)
C: it’ll be weird to hear “National Mental Hospital, good morning”.
D: is it National Mental Hospital?
C: it’s NMH, yeah, it’s National Mental Hospital…National Mental Hospital, Delamar speaking…<br>
D: there’s nothing like a public rejection.
C: and in front of all his friends
D: that’s what I said, public
C: public could also mean people you don’t know
D: it could also be people you know
C: I’m qualifying it, Ms. Unqualified.

C: we’re not fighting
D: it’s his fault

D: don’t change channels
C: channels? Stations
D: you know what I’m thinking of, a TV show

D: they thought I’ll be good as a villain, why is that?
C: you wanna know?
D: gee, thanks, this coming from a person who probably knows me the best

D: when I was sick, you wanted to push me out of the car
C: why would I push you? We’re friends, I’ll roll you out.
D: wow, he loves me… with friends like you, who needs enemies?

C: the witches are holding a meeting on an evil mountaintop
D: how would you know, you’re invited, right?
C: no, they sent me your invitation
D: it’s the meeting of the witches, not the bitches

C: I’m an all-Filipino reject
D: you’re not, it’s just that you don’t like the people who like you
C: ssshhh… stop that

C: I’m scared of mirrors…<br>D: I know what I’ll give you this Christmas

D: after I watched The Rundown, I was so macho after I left the moviehouse
C: you’re always macho… when you’re driving
D: 9 minutes, from the interchange to my house
C: you need to slow down
D: yeah, I need f1

C: the listeners are so weird
D: they take after the host
C: I’m not weird, talk about yourself…what’s that? Speak for yourself

D: I passed by a drugstore and saw a sign that says Viagra available here
C: I so don’t need it. Who cares? Big deal!
D: we didn’t need to know that.

D: you never say anything nice.
C: never?
D: never.
C: your loveliness is beguiling
D; it’s not beguiling, you’re just saying that to prove me wrong, I know your tricks inside and out
C: you always like to be on top…of things and you want to know the pecking order in the booth
D: don’t say use those words together
C: what, top and pecking?

D: can you feel the beat inside of you? Can you hide it? Can you fight it?
C: no.

D: who’s the boss?
C: our boss
D: who’s the boss?
C: our boss
D: who’s the boss?
C: our boss
D: I was trying for a who’s your daddy kind of thing
C: it fell flat

C: kids, have fun while you’re young, it’s not going to be like that when you’re an adult
D: it’s downhill from there

[Cat]

D: I wonder what you look like as a zygote.
C: Red and veiny.
D: Stop, it’s turning me on.

D: Talking to you is like talking to a potato, we don’t connect.
C: You’ve spoken to a potato?

C: Have I ever been wrong?
D: Yes, many times.

C: I know the perfect match for Kirsten Dunst.
D: Who?
C: Julia Stiles.

C: Why is Leslie also a guy’s name?
D: Like Chuck is also a woman’s name.
C: There are no women named Chuck, no, there is, Chucka Khan.

C: If you could choose anyone locally to board with you, who would you want?
D: Derek Ramsey.

D: Who do you think I like locally?
C: The Japanese looking model.

[Cat]

C: I used to treat life like I was in a coma, now I love doing stuff.
D: I don’t want to sound too important but thank me.
C: Thank you. Thank you, Delamar. Thank you, India.

C: I think we do demented better.
D: That’s my turf.

D: When my brother died, I was thinking I wouldn’t hear his voice again.
C: When my dad died, I remember saying I wish I could hear your voice again one last time but not tonight.

C: I’m gonna slap this on your bare bottom.
D: You promise?

D: Have you ever wanted to be the opposite sex?
C: No. I don’t think the idea of giving birth and having a monthly visitor. But pantyhose and silk undies…<br>
D: I think you’re a real weirdo.
C: I am.
D: A grade A weirdo.
C: Thank you.
D: That’s not a compliment.

C: It took so long to probe Uranus.
D: It hasn’t reached.

D: Do you think you could be happily married soon?
C: Maybe.
D: You’re gonna leave me? We’re friends! You’re gonna leave me in the Club of Singles?
C: Are you?

[Cat]

C: We don’t have a counterpart for old maid.
D: Chico Garcia.
C: Not anymore.
D: An admission!
C: You bait me!
D: I don’t bait you, you fall into traps.

D: Who says egg cells don’t talk? Maybe women don’t listen and it takes a sensitive soul to hear it.
C: Sensitive’s not the word.
D: Are you saying I’m not sensitive? Could it be I’m an average sane psycho?
C: Just the last word.

C: I’ll pull…<br>D: Your panties down…<br>
D: I don’t like being hurried.
C: Wrap it up, toots

C: There’s I see you and then, there’s I SEE you.
D: If you don’t stop, you’ll be in ICU.

D: What do I wear inside my diving suit?
C: Seaweed.

D: Can’t I have variants?
C: Said Delamar on her honeymoon.

D: I like bossing you around. We’re made for each other. We’re MFEO.
C: ROTFL
D: What’s that?
C: Rolling on the floor, laughing.

D: Where is the respect? Where did it go?
C: I don’t know.
D: We didn’t have it in the 1st place.

D: ADD, I think I have that.
C: From now on, I’ll call you ADD, Attention Deficit Delamar.

C: That’s a fake laughter.
D: I’m used to faking it.

D: Butt kissing isn’t bad, it shouldn’t be done in full view of everyone, it should be done in…<br>C: private

D: You’re not a good leader.
C: I agree.
D: What’s wrong?
C: You conceded that I’m the leader.
D: No! You’re not the leader!

D: Who are you?
C: The leader.

[Cat]

D: I swear to God, I will kill you.
C: Slowly and with pleasure?
D: No, slowly and painfully.

D: Well?
C: Well what?
D: Aren’t you going to propose yet?

D: Don’t blame me if by the end of the show, I ask you to marry me.
C: I like it when you get rough with me, I suddenly imagined a scenario of you spraying me with cologne and me just wearing slippers.

D: No train wants to take me.
C: There were trains…<br>D: Yes, there were, it wasn’t the right train, it wasn’t expensive enough.

C: It wasn’t a train you were waiting for…<br>D: It was an F1 car.

D: You have this look like you want to hit me.
C: Hard.
D: You promise?

C: 8 years. 8 years!
D: Why do you keep saying that? Like it’s amazing, like it’s hard to be with me for 8 years.

D: Am I being bitchy?
C: You’re excused.
D: Why?
C: Because we haven’t had sleep.
D: I thought you were going to say because we haven’t had blank.
C: I could tell you haven’t had sleep..
D: and blank.
C: and blank.

D: I think butts are cute. Let me squeeze your butt.
C: if you squeeze my butt, then I have to squeeze something else…<br>D: It’s ok, keep your hands to yourself.

[silverback]

D: I really think that you were a prince (In Chico's past life)
C: Uh-huh
D: Who was very retarded
C: Ok
D: Your parents wanted you to marry this "beautiful" princess, but since you were so retarded, you could not see her beauty and though she was a very good match for you. They locked you up in this tower, where you died, and eventually she also died.
C: And what pray-tell is the name of this princess? Of the beauuuutiful priinnceesss?!! Princess what??!!


D: And the prince had bad teeth, they were all sticking out.
C: How tall was the princess?