One-Liners

[Cat]

C: If a pepper was from Chile, do you call it a Chile Pepper?

D: I wouldn’t mind being attacked full frontal.

C: (after giving Delle the shirt) I know it’ll fit you, I tried it on last night.

D: …How dare you lick me, kiss me first before you lick me.

[Cat]

C: You must admit, we’re getting sexier as the years go by.
D: I’m not a floozy, I’m Miss Goody-Two-Shoes.
C: A bird in a hand is worth two in a bush.
C: My boys are good swimmers.
C: Do not sumbat.
D: Don’t be spiteful, that’s my job.
C: I feel barenaked.
D: Can I please get a new partner?
C: I come cheap, cheaper than discount-bin cheap.
C: I’m cheaper than you think.
D: Am I the bad influence here?
D: Do you think it’s too late to be a Povedan?
C: Slap me.
D: Poke me.
C: I need some legal hoochie koochie.
C: I remember those days when I’m still capable of love.
D: Why do we need to get dressed anyway?
D: I think I’m falling in love with dirty.
C: I’m not lascivious, I’m just sexy.
C: I let you touch my guinea pigs, why shouldn’t I let you touch my breasts?
C: My parts tend to be big.
C: I need somebody to tell me that my body is a wonderland or an amusement park.
C: I’m good at that, sliding…<br>C: it’s hard today, harder than usual.
C: I wasn’t always as prissy, I knew how to get dirty.
C: I’m a grow-er not a show-er.
D: Do you know which creatures I find sexy when they mate? Octopus and slugs.
C: I need to spank you.
C: My mouth can be open wide, very wide.
D: I like to be connected.
C: I’m all bark and no bite.
C: I seem sexy.
C: When I had fever, all they has to do was feed me hotdog.

[Cat]

D: If you come too close, I’ll bite.
D: I wanna erupt.
C: I have a high voice if I squeeze enough.
C: All I do is jack-up.
D: Sorry, no action for this lips.
D: I wouldn’t mind a limp bizkit.
C: What can I say? I’m a sad sexy guy.
C: Everything seems to be happy except my heart.
C: I wanna eat eggs again.
C: I’m free, any taker?
D: Primitive pad, why is that so erotic?
D: Is it just me or is Hugh Grant getting hotter and hotter?
D: I’m not really this dumb.
C: I can’t turn myself on, well, actually, I can.
C: I’ve been known to poke back.
C: I may look like a yummy young thing but I’m not.

[Cat]

D: Men are reptiles.
C: All of my excitements are pleasurable.
(talking about boobs) C: as you go older, they change fruits, from melon to saging.
C: There’s nothing more pitiable than a wet chick.
D: You don’t eat a friend…unless they want you to.
D: Remember the time when I wanted to come in a bike?

[Cat]

C: the left behind, sturdy (matira matibay)
D: You should be so happy I wasn’t your mom.
C: In our family, you can mess up your life but not our house.
C: I feel like a winner that loses a lot.
D: You sound flatter than my chest.
D: I need to eat a lot of peanuts and iodized salt.
D: Delamar is the name of your daughter? What a beautiful name.
C: I’m not a good flirt.
D: I’m a sexually mature creature.
D: If you want to talk to us, we’re Dirk and Deedee, there’s no more Chico and Delamar, they left again.

[Cat]

C: I'm lovable, so why not?
C: Even the ugliest babies are cute.
C: Tears in your eggs is not really something that you want early in the morning.
C: After seeing all those beautiful people, I feel a notch below fantastic.
D: I feel broken.
C: I just realized something, my boxers are so soft.
D: I wanna see Prince Charles' crown jewels.
D: I'm not insane, I'm lonely/I'm not crazy, I'm lonely

[Cat]

C: If I am a porn star I know my name, Tom Hunk.
C: Wine me. Dine me.
C: If you have to be bald, it has to be the entire head.
C: Beauty fades, money doesn’t.
C: Look at the bacon and eggs, they’re so sexy.
D: I don’t have a DVD, all I have is my imagination.
D: I look innocent but I know everything.
C: I may be kinky but I’m safe.
C: I’m only kinky when it’s consensual.
D: If I can’t be the most beautiful person on earth then I wouldn’t be the worst version of me.
C: (talking about snorkeling naked) so there I was, with my two white mounds of pleasure bobbing up and down.
C: I don’t want to be a loose end, I want to be a tight end.
C: (on a Monday) We’re Loonies and it’s Loonies today.
D: Don’t you be touching me anywhere.
D: Here’s a line I would want to use: I want to take off my panties and put it in the washer.
C: Mind your own scandal.
D: I’m sorry, the bitch is out.
C: I’m not just looking for someone to rock my bed, I’m looking for someone to rock my world.
D: I think I’d move to Australia and marry some kangaroo.

[Cat]

C: The biggest debut was Home, it was right along…the riles! It’s home along da riles.
D: We can’t blend but what do you know, we’ve got an album!
D: I wanna thug my own.
C: I used to eat my friend’s Lipps.
C: I eat anything.
D: (to C) you’re used to bitches, you work with one.
C: What’s so wrong with wanting people to see you?
D: I wanna walk naked inside my house.
C: All dogs go to heaven unlike people, some will go to hell.
C: You’re still with the Morning Rush with C and D aka R. Kelly and Nivea
C: My buns are so white.
C: Sometimes, I brush my teeth, pantless.
D: I haven’t kissed a lot of strangers.
C: I’m a mutant, I’ve got special powers, I can get sexy at will.
C: There’s an adult Harry Potter, Dobby Does Dallas.
D: I can’t rap.
D: I wanna hit you in the head and not in a sexual way.
D: I want my own sloppy Joe.
D: I can’t eat anything with hair, oh, that depends.
D: I’m in front of a big microphone everyday, that’s what you call teasing a lonely woman.

[Cat]

(long silence) (laughter) D: Caught with a banana in my mouth…<br>D: Save me from a lifetime of loneliness.
D: I know I’ll be lonely for the rest of my life.
D: We’ll be happily depressed today.
C: I can’t stay this fresh forever.
C: I know I’m hot but I’m not sure if I’m hot enough.
D: Don’t contra me.
C: I’m a premature gasper.
C: You can be flat-chested with a big tip.
D: I don’t believe in love anymore. It exists for some and not for others.
You’re not Cinderella, no prince is coming, no saving is to be done and
there’s no happy ending for you.
C: I stopped believing in my dreams, what used to be inevitable truths become
fantasies.
D: I feel like an evolutionary dead-end.
C: A popular guy like me needs more space for my phonebook.
C: My body may look like a 36 year-old body but it acts like 22 and my tools
are working well.
D: I look kinda young.
C: I’m like a stone, hard all the time.
D: I love one-eyed snakes.

[Cat]

C: and this, with a sore throat, imagine what I can do with a healthy throat…<br>C: I’m not trying to be overtly sexy, I’m not trying to seduce you, it’s just that I have a throat and it’s sore.
C: Hi. I’ve got a 12-inch ruler.
C: I’ll make a good lamb chop.
C: I’m in the mood for a lot of things.
C: I’m not smart, I’m intellectual.
C: They’ve said I’m pretty thick.
C: My key needs an ignition.
D; I’m into second chances.
D; I will have no conscience today.
D: I’m on my way to Grinchville, no, more like Bitchville.
D: I resolved to be awful today.
C: I don’t have a tidbit. It’s been called Monstro – after the whale in Pinocchio and it’s been called Titanic – it’s been known to sink ships.
D: I like squids but only if they’re cut and fried, call me Lorena, Lorena Bobbit.
C: One time, I was so tempted to buy a whip.
C: When you say peak, what do you mean? Because there’s a peak pea…<br>C: When somebody says I can’t read you, you should open your book wider.
D: I’m not bitter. I love life.
C: I don’t know about yours but my burritos aren’t flat. I never eat flat ones.
C: I’m a swinger.
C: I’m a floozer, a floozy loser.
D: I’m flooziest.
C: I need someone to rub vaporub all over my body.
D: I like those words, frisky and wanton, they excite me…<br>

[Cat]

D: I’m such a loser these days.
D: I’ll leave me alone.
C: It’s a real tip, it’s a fat tip.
C: I haven’t eaten a bruce.
C: I feel chirpy, perky and sexy.
D: My latest crush is 21 years old.
C: Even if you’re out there, I can poke you…with a meter stick…<br>C: Down boy, that’s what I said this morning.
D; My hair’s crunchy.
C: I’m running away, I’m good at that…<br>C: Am I mad? I’m just lonely.
C: I’m not used to be with someone on the bed, sleeping.
C: what do you call the space between your butt and genitals? Landing pad?

[Cat]

D: I know I’m corny.
D: I’m okay with being a fluffer.
C: I’m having problems with my buns; the right one is asleep.
D: We’re like the benchmark for normal.
C: I’ll take care of my tip and you take care of your tips.
D: Chico’s a maniac.
D: I’m not sleazy.
D: I’m not twisted, I’m so straight.
D: I wanna be a man.
D: Men have more fun.
C: you have no idea how much my buns hurt.
C: I think there’s a marked increase in my sex appeal.
D: I feel like a bag lady today.
D: I haven’t lived a fairy tale life.
D: I know I look smart but I’m not.
D: I don’t believe in right and wrong in a lot of things.
C: I’m half the man you are when it comes to driving.
C: my ear’s wet.
D: I’m so macho.
C: I wanna be the driver you were 5 years ago.
C: I’m fast, I’m only slow in love.
D: I sound like a smart girl but sometimes I’m a bit slow.
C: I want to be hot and sweaty while dancing.
C: You’re still with Chico and Hot Mama on the Morning Rush.
D: I like being sad.
D: I’m not crazy, I’m just OA.
C: you know what HBO stands for, right? Hot Boys Ohhh.
D: I like shallow.
C: I’m running as fast as I can but no one’s chasing.
C: I wouldn’t mind meeting the love of my life in the rain.
C: I think we’re doing a great job of moving on, on the surface.
D: we’re like poster boy and girl for happiness.
C: I need to get some.
C: I want something real.
D: This bitch is very complicated.
C: I’m virile.
D: you are so bratty.
D: You are such a dork, I swear.
D: a wet noodle is a spaghetti na ayaw tumaas.
C: I’m not a wet noodle.

[Cat]

C: I was always old way before my time.
C: I am the youngest but I felt the oldest.
C: I am NOT dorky.
D: Where is the love?
D: (to a lesbian caller) so, what are you doing later?
D: (to a lesbian caller) so, what are you wearing?
D: Women with bigger mammary glands are happier, hence my situation.
C: I’m never taken.
C: I may be a geek but I abhorred school.
D: For all you know, I could be gay.
D: I’ll never get married, I swear.
D: How could you think of eating a friend? Well…<br>D: I Like Baby Boys.
C: I’m sick and tired of being mushy all the time.
C: Why can’t I be happy and be with someone and be delirious?
C: I like it at the back.
D: We always feel like losers.
D: I don’t like attention.
D: Nothing makes me happy.
D: I promise I’ll study a man.
D: Call me P. Diddy, Puffy Delle
D: I’m turned on by kiwis.
D: I wanna play a kinky game.
D: Given the right situation, everyone would be kinky.
C: I’ve always wanted to shower in front of the webcam.

[Cat]

C: Hate is like a fart, you keep it inside but if you can’t, it comes out and it stinks.
C: Animals aren’t supposed to be kinky, only humans are.
D: have you ever seen a naked man in the kitchen?
C: I wanna be brave with the right person.
D: if life was like driving, I’d be good at it.
D: If life was like driving, I’d be reckless but I can do it.
D: I wish I hadn’t had the best ever, hopefully, the best is yet to come.
D: Love being boring is what makes it great.
D: Your wish is my command.
D: I do things because you tell me to.
D: 30 is not a bad age.
C: Tease me.
C: I need somebody to tease me really bad.
C: I’m trying to hang in there so you might as well hang in there.
C: That’s for the inner child in you because mine has died a violent death.
D: I just love chocolate in the morning.
C: I’m the epitome of being sensitive.
C: Your hole is getting deeper.
D: I love being 30.
C: I’m ready…I’ve been ready for 36 years.
C;About time DJs went fruit
C: If sodas went fruit, so can dad.
D: I feel so weird today even instant noodles feel so hard today.
D: Bring me back to Mother Africa.
C: We should coin a new name for Michael Buble, Mike Bub
C: What’s the past tense of take a break? Took a brook.
C: My pain is the superstar in my life.
C: Chico is miserable.
C: My heartbreak doesn’t come from outside, my heart produces it.
C: My heart produces heartbreak as a snake produces venom.
C: My heart needs to be streetsmart, it’s stupid and foolish.
D: I can’t take the drama.

[Cat]

C: If you die, would you lose your invisibility?
C: Why is Leslie also a guy’s name?
D: Why do you look at me when you say bimbo?
D: So, you’re smarter than me…<br>D: This is the game we should be playing, Spitting Games.
C: I don’t have a tat for your…(tit)
C: I’m such a whiner.
D: I think I’m demented.
D: We bounced each other, you know that I’m a drama queen and I can’t get a drama moment out of you.
D: I think I’m turning out to be a prude.
C: I’d rather be 3rd place than 2nd place.
D: When I was 27 or 28, you know those moments when spinsters are made, I had that moment.
C: I flirted yesterday.
D: There’s a stalker in all of us.
C: When we go down, I’ll check your bumpers.
C: My brother told me I had to fight before I marry.
D: Jensen Button, he’s a cutie, he’s a hottie and he’s hot.
D: Now, I wanna get married.
D: Marry a man who knows you inside and out.
D: I think Bill Murray will make me pee in my pants just laughing.
D: What you can’t have, you hate.
C: We’re British, I just don’t look it, I’m the darkest of the clan.
D: Marriage is morbid, stay away, people, stay away.
D: That’s what marriage is, a race to the grave.
D: I want a hard train, I don’t want it too soft.
D: The Morning Rush is getting weirder by the day.
D: Fine, I’m insecure.
D: I don’t see myself having kids.
D: I’m not really good with correspondence.
D: I really like bossing you around.
C: I’m sorry, honey.
D: I’m sorry if I’m bossing you around.
C: It’s usually hardest after an all-nighter.
D: I hate it when you call me Delamar.
D: I think butts are cute.
C: I’ll give a tat for every tit.
D: I’m sorry but I’m going to turn you on.
D: I’ll go for the tip.